Gulp Slither Gulp

[Fennis Dembo]

Did anyone see the guy on the Discovery Channel that was supposed to be eaten by a forty foot four hundred pound anaconda snake?  Unfortunately he chickened out after the snake had his head and neck and had his assistants pull him out.  Probably the most disappointing thing on TV since Geraldo Rivera opened Al Capone's safe and found only dust and the Pistons loss to Philadelphia the other night.

Anyway rumor has it that the anaconda will be the half-time entertainment at the Palace tonight. Desperate times call for desperate measures when you've lost twelve games in a row. Any Piston starter with less than ten points, five rebounds. five assists, and more than three fouls, and three turnovers will be force fed to the anaconda at the half.  If Van Gundy thought his team played tense in the fourth quarter the last game, they will probably be totally terrified in the first two quarters tonight.  Not that negative reinforcement is without its own merit.  This could be the incentive the team needs to sprint out to a thirty point halftime lead.  If not the team will need to call up some replacements from Grand Rapids for the next game.

Bon appetit to the snake and good luck to the Pistons.  They will need it.

[Sparma]

Philly rises out of the number 30 spot in SI's power rankings. No where to go but up for us now.

[Oracle]

[Oracle]

NBA legend Isiah Thomas shares his own story of alleged racial profiling

[Oracle]

Stan Van Grumpy has serious problems with his team and Dr. Basketball provides concrete solutions.  What more could you ask for? I know, a win once or twice a week would be nice.
 
Question: Do we have a messed up team like SVG said?
Dr. Basketball : Without a doubt, they need to hire Martha Stewart.  She can organize closets, parties, and unmess anything you can think of including basketball teams.  She has a lot of "street cred" after serving time in the slammer.

Question:  Is lack of ball movement a problem?
Dr. Basketball : Definitely,  have the team burn all their athletic supporters.  A team without jock straps is a team with a lot of ball movement, if you know what I mean.  As the Greek philosopher Testicles said, "Have a ball".  

Question: SVG says they'll work when their minds are uncluttered.  Is that true?
Dr. Basketball:  Yes, shock therapy and the ocassional frontal lobotomy will clear their minds like a blank tablet.  Of course they may need help finding the Palace or remembering the plays.

Question: The fans at the Palace were chanting, "Trade Josh Smith".  Is that a possibility?
Dr. Basketball : Only if Stan Van Gundy can find a time machine DeLorean car and travel back to July and make the trade with Sacramento.   It has been said that sometimes the best trades are the ones you don't make.  In this instance that is obviously wrong.  As Mr. Peabody used to say, "Sherman, fire up the Wayback Machine."

Question:  This season is already down the drain.  Why didn't SVG make more roster moves in the off season?  What can he do now?
Dr. Basketball:  The season starts with good intentions and ends with lots of tears, boos, and losses.  All decisions are not fruitful and rewarding.  Send the entire roster to Grand Rapids and bring up the guys from the Drive.  They just might win one by accident.

Question: Is SVG the Pistons worst coach since Dick Vitale who was stunningly poor?
Dr. Basketball:  As Dickie V would say, "SVG is a member of the All-Wacko Team.  He's not ready for PT.  Way less than awesome, baby!"

Thank you Dr. Basketball.  Your insights into basketball knowledge are what root canals are to dentistry, painful but necessary.

Dr Basketball, I've always found that driving at 100 MPH in a snow storm, taking a selfie while wearing no underwear, is the best way to clear you mind and sinuses, while accidentally emptying you bowels and bladder!

I apologize for forwarding that vital information to Andre Drummond!

[Fennis Dembo]

Stan Van Grumpy has serious problems with his team and Dr. Basketball provides concrete solutions.  What more could you ask for? I know, a win once or twice a week would be nice.
 
Question: Do we have a messed up team like SVG said?
Dr. Basketball : Without a doubt, they need to hire Martha Stewart.  She can organize closets, parties, and unmess anything you can think of including basketball teams.  She has a lot of "street cred" after serving time in the slammer.

Question:  Is lack of ball movement a problem?
Dr. Basketball : Definitely,  have the team burn all their athletic supporters.  A team without jock straps is a team with a lot of ball movement, if you know what I mean.  As the Greek philosopher Testicles said, "Have a ball".  

Question: SVG says they'll work when their minds are uncluttered.  Is that true?
Dr. Basketball:  Yes, shock therapy and the ocassional frontal lobotomy will clear their minds like a blank tablet.  Of course they may need help finding the Palace or remembering the plays.

Question: The fans at the Palace were chanting, "Trade Josh Smith".  Is that a possibility?
Dr. Basketball : Only if Stan Van Gundy can find a time machine DeLorean car and travel back to July and make the trade with Sacramento.   It has been said that sometimes the best trades are the ones you don't make.  In this instance that is obviously wrong.  As Mr. Peabody used to say, "Sherman, fire up the Wayback Machine."

Question:  This season is already down the drain.  Why didn't SVG make more roster moves in the off season?  What can he do now?
Dr. Basketball:  The season starts with good intentions and ends with lots of tears, boos, and losses.  All decisions are not fruitful and rewarding.  Send the entire roster to Grand Rapids and bring up the guys from the Drive.  They just might win one by accident.

Question: Is SVG the Pistons worst coach since Dick Vitale who was stunningly poor?
Dr. Basketball:  As Dickie V would say, "SVG is a member of the All-Wacko Team.  He's not ready for PT.  Way less than awesome, baby!"

Thank you Dr. Basketball.  Your insights into basketball knowledge are what root canals are to dentistry, painful but necessary.

[Sebastian]

Whatever happened to this budding star, I can't find him on any NBA roster

Just funning with DX & Seb!

Yuck it up while you can; my face is red right now, but things'll change.

I still say that GM Stan and his boy, Bowers should give QM's agent a call!

[deusXango]

Whatever happened to this budding star, I can't find him on any NBA roster

Just funning with DX & Seb!

Yuck it up while you can; my face is red right now, but things'll change.

[deusXango]

I am not attempting to the knock the kid, he surely has room to continue to develop. The player that he reminds me of the most at this juncture of his basketball evolution is Dennis Scott.

I would rather not add a Dennis Scott-type player to OUR roster, if I was GM Stan.

Sebastian, Dennis Scott he's not...nowhere near, but I know your sample size didn't offer much to base an opinion on; check out this Saturdays game against U of M, at 5:15 P.M. again. Caris LeVert vs. Stanley Johnson should be entertaining as hell, compared to what we've been treated to watching the Pistons.

[Sebastian]

Is only going to get worst, as the forthcoming schedule indicates. He sure is not in the condition that he was once in:

[Oracle]

[Oracle]

Whatever happened to this budding star, I can't find him on any NBA roster

Just funning with DX & Seb!

He'll show up on the roster of a future opponent just in time to kick our asses when we meet.

At this rate, he's going to have to stand in line behind, Knight, Afflalo & Stuckey!

Everybody likes to kick some fresh ass

[lemonpen]

Whatever happened to this budding star, I can't find him on any NBA roster

Just funning with DX & Seb!

He'll show up on the roster of a future opponent just in time to kick our asses when we meet.

[lemonpen]

How come nobody on the roster seems to get mad about losing. Shouldn't someone have suffered an on court blow up by now. Shouldn't someone be getting just a little fed up at a teammate by now. Not one leader amoung um.


I think we care a flock of a lot more than anyone getting paid to play. And that just pisses me off.

No heart. No guts. No concerns in the world.
Stan, sit the starters for a week. Remove the kid gloves.

[lemonpen]

He take long shots cause that's where he drifts. It isn't by accident or happenstance. He goes where he is least likely to be closely guarded. It's a damn shame Josh can't put 2 and 2 together. There is a real good reason you're open dufus.
Smoove could take a lesson from Carlos Boozer in that respect. You ever notice that Carlos rarely drifts outside of his shooting range. Dude is prepared to shoot and score whenever he gets a touch. It make him a constant threat.

[Oracle]

Whatever happened to this budding star, I can't find him on any NBA roster

Just funning with DX & Seb!

[Sebastian]

I am not attempting to the knock the kid, he surely has room to continue to develop. The player that he reminds me of the most at this juncture of his basketball evolution is Dennis Scott.

I would rather not add a Dennis Scott-type player to OUR roster, if I was GM Stan.

[deusXango]

Don, let me first say this; you're absolutely correct in your statement that Jennings only seems to see Smith as a second scoring option (second only to himself) and that pass last night, for an ill-advised 3 attempt bears that out. Dumb ass play by our PG contributed to the loss more than the shot!

"Stop ignoring Datome; if he ain't the player advertised, let us all see it! We've seen Singler under-perform for the majority of this short season and Butler play too many minutes for the milage he has, so give us reason to cheer for this guy like Singler/Butler or revile him like Smith. No one discusses this guy, why?"

Where in this statement did I point to Singler as the cause of the Pistons demise? I spoke an obvious truth that can be proven; Singler has under-performed for the majority of this short season, yet he was given a chance to turn things around. Yes, I feel Datome is being screwed period, because of the difference in treatment he's received; when Singler sucked from game-to-game he was consistently pushed down our collective throats, but when Datome showed signs of efficiency and being capable of production on both ends of the floor (during meager minutes) he was benched again, much like Dinwiddie has been buried behind Jennings and Augustin! Where does your "knowledge" of Datome not earning any PT come from; him being rendered invisible is no proof that he can't play or not earned any PT!

I've always felt that with the makeup of this team and the propensity of the last three coaches to play Smith at SF because there wasn't a more viable option, SF was a position that needed immediate address in the worse way! It's crazy to think Singler is the answer there as a starter; he's not better than Josh and Josh is not an ideal starter at SF. This is not about a person, but a positional upgrade; I'm pissed about passing over Covington, who we had first stab at, because he represented an upgrade at SF, which is being proven from game-to-game played by Philly. Look at who Philly replaced with Covington and tell me they were worse players than we see on a nightly basis. Philly dumped some young studs at SF to tank, but still managed to upgrade, compared to us, the SF position. This goes beyond guarding Durant, there are lesser lights who're going to have their way with us!

A sacrilegious thought; would trading Drummond to Philly for their unprotected first round pick this year and Covington be practical? Two of the top three picks people. If we could get that done then there's no reason to hold onto Smith and Jennings (picks!), and the team would be Monroe's, like he wants. If SVG couldn't build the team he wants this summer, his wood is still wet; look around the east and tell me that we don't need a major overhaul and it would have to have a dramatic start. Like I said, sacrilegious!

[cool breeze]

Trade, trade, trade, whoever the f@ck he can (with the exception of Drummond, KCP, and Dinwiddie) and be reasonable with his expected returns; how is it that teams all across the league trade for first round picks, but we have some idiots who believe that Jennings and Smith can't get first round picks?

Stop leading fans to believe that dreaming about Meeks return is comparable to Kobe, Durant, Melo, or players of that ilk; we're talking F@ckin' Jodie Meeks, for heavens sake. If he's all that to us then no wonder our record is like it is.

Oracle, you brought up a great point; look at who SVG is relying on to get things done! Did anyone find themselves impressed with the Bower pre-game interview? Butler ain't a mentor, he's a major cog in the rotation....imagine that. The only reason I'm patient with Hardaway is because he may be able to facilitate Junior coming on board this summer. The rest of those clowns on the bench, sh!!!!!!!!t. Bring back Rasheed.

Let Monroe start the rest of the season and feature him in the offense, it may earn us some favor with his agent, because I know bridges have been burnt with that relationship; he may be able to steer one of his worthwhile clients to Detroit in the future.

Stop ignoring Datome; if he ain't the player advertised, let us all see it! We've seen Singler under-perform for the majority of this short season and Butler play too many minutes for the milage he has, so give us reason to cheer for this guy like Singler/Butler or revile him like Smith. No one discusses this guy, why?

I love the suggestion of starting Augustin and backing him up with Dinwiddie....how can we be worse?

dX you keep keying on Singler as the cause of the Piston's demise. Singler did hit a huge 3 point shot towards the end of the game that allowed Detroit to have a chance to win. He played outstanding in the first half on both ends. In the 3rd quarter he held Durant to I believe 2 points on defense. Nobody can contain Durant for an entire game but the Pistons best chance was to assign Singler on him. In the 2nd half, once again the point guards changed back to the old way of playing ignoring what worked in the first half. No screens were set for Singler in the 2nd half of that game. Singler missed some shots but everyone missed shots. I look at how you play within the system designed by the coach. This coach didn't call a timeout in the 2nd half to correct the point guards and insist that they run the offense the right way. And for some reason you keep this idea open that somehow Datome is somehow getting screwed out of playing time. Datome has never earned any additional playing time dX. He sucked last year and he sucks this year. Could the coach bring in Datome to guard Durant in that game? Come on this was another horrible signing by Joe Dumars. A team can be successful having a small forward who doesn't shoot the ball much, plays effective defense and passes the ball well. The player needs to be involved in the offense and to be involved in the offense you have to have a coach who designs plays to fit that small forward's strengths. This is not being done with Singler or Butler. However, both of those players do play defense well and do not turn the ball over much. On the other hand we have extremely inconsistent play from the key scoring position and that is the 2 guard spot. KCP is not there yet as a player who can be trusted to do the right thing at the right moment. He is learning and this learning period is key as to why the Pistons are losing. But the clear reason why this team is the worst team in the league is the play of our big men, Monroe, Smith and Drummond as a group. Jerebco is the only fundamentally sound player and he is not thought of by this coaching staff a a key player on the team. If the coach talked to Jerebco and told him he is a trusted player who the coach is going to go with and count on, my bet is that Jerebco would be a fantastic Piston player. But this coach shows Jerebco that he is only playing to fill a few moments of a game with a body. A player needs to develop confidence and this coach sure doesn't help Jerebco with confidence. By the way, Jerebco sure received a lot of bad calls by the refs last night. I thought he was called for 3 fouls that should have gone the other way. So Detroit is clearly losing most games because they are getting out smarted and out worked by their opponents. The players who are getting beat are Monroe, Smith and Drummond. The other position that remains a clear liability for this team is the point guard position. You could bring in Labron James to play small forward and if the coach designed the same offense he currently is using and fails to correct his point guard play, then Labron James would not have much of a positive impact either. of course that wouldn't happen because Labron would settle things before one game was played. He would insist on playing point guard or he would refuse to play a game for the Pistons.

POINT GUARD = BIG MEN
dX I don't want to disagree with you because you have a lot of good insight. But I want everyone to be on board with the truth and start putting pressure on Stan Van Gundy to do the right thing for this team. He needs to do something about the point guard play and that means removing either Jennings or Augustin from the rotation if not both. If he has to bring a D League player in then so be it. And Van Gundy needs to remove one but preferably two of our BIG 3 from this team as soon as possible so the team can get started with the rebuild. Also, if Meeks returns and sucks, then the 2 guard position needs to be upgraded until KCP becomes a consistent player on both ends of the floor. But if Stanley Johnson is available for the Pistons to draft, then I for sure would draft him to play the small forward position. Even though he had a off game against the Zags, Stanley is the real deal and will be unstoppable offensively in the NBA with his inside/outside game. And he will be a good NBA defender with his size, speed and mind. Detroit needs to keep losing. But why not lose with D League players? It would be more fun to watch them and maybe we could get lucky and find another Ben Wallace.

[cool breeze]

Which two big men performed like real NBA players against the Thunder? Pointing out the positive is a good thing and for sure the best big man on the floor for Detroit was Jonas Jerebco. He was everywhere in the first half. Did anyone look at his foot work or should I say foot movement which is lacking by all the other alleged NBA big men. Drummond played extremely hard in some moments of the game especially in the 4 quarter. But Jerebco was outstanding last night with his shooting in the first half and his heart though out the game. He was deflecting balls, handling the pick and roll plays on defense, rebounding, helping out teammates and running the court extremely hard. Was he rewarded with play in crunch time by this coach? NO COACH VAN GUNDY AGAIN WAS A COWARD COACH SELECTING JOSH SMITH AS HIS MAN. And what did Josh Smith do in the 4th quarter? NOTHING! He did nothing well Piston fans. And why did the starting point guard not shoot the layup at the end that would have tied the game and instead passed back to Smith beyond the 3 point line? Is that what a good smart starting NBA point guard would do in the key moment pass the ball back to the worst 3 point shooter in the NBA shooting around 200% for the season? Is that what this brilliant coach wanted? Opps I was supposed to be talking about the good moments of this game. In the first half the Pistons again showed how they can look on offense if they spread the ball around and have plays involving screens set for the player who plays small forward when it is not Josh Smith. Getting Singler the basketball in the center of the court around the free throw line off a screen opened up the court. So why did that not happen in the 2nd half? There was no ball movement and the same old thing we have watched all season where players stand around in the half court offense. This is bad coaching and stupid play by the point guards.

Now for the bad. GREG MONROE PLAYED SO BAD ON BOTH ENDS THAT HE SHOULD GET THE GAME BALL FOR THE PLAYER WHO DESTROYED HIS TEAM. First off, Monroe never fought for anything on either end. He was content to get his ass beat in every way last night. However, his play on the defensive end might have been the worst performance of any Piston big man in Detroit Piston history. I am not joking here. He was so inept on defense that anyone could have out rebounded him. He was especially ineffective on the weak side and was responsible for giving up at least 14 points by allowing the Thunder 2nd and 3rd chance attempts by failing to box out or even attempt to leave his feet for defensive rebounds. The stats on Monroe are very misleading though out his career. A guy his size will get rebounds just by standing in the paint. And that is all he does regardless of the fact that he might have just had a opposing player out fight him for a rebound 8 seconds before another shot would go up. And on offense, when he mishandled catching a pass he never really tried to fight to keep control of the basketball. Finally what many fans do not notice is what Monroe did for most of the night on defense. He watched what was going on in the paint from affair. Greg did what men do when a beautiful young women walked into a room full of people. You stop for a moment and stare. That exactly what Monroe was doing. He also looked much like a person who is stoned looks when they have just hit the bong. Monroe can cross off the Thunder as a possible home next season. There is another team that the Pistons can cross off as a possible trade partner for Monroe. Maybe Monroe played that poorly because he doesn't want to live in Oklahoma.

Coach Stan Van Gundy is still impressed with his two point guards, Jennings and Augustin even when the team goes up against a point guard who is twice the size of his select guards. Augustin was the player who gave up a lot of dribble penetration last night. He couldn't stay in front of opposing players in key moments of possessions or off a Thunder fast break. WHY WAS DINWIDDIE SITTING ON THE BENCH COACH? When Monroe and Smith were stinking it up, why did the coach have Jerebco on the bench? I think that the Pistons would have played better with both Smith and Monroe on the bench even if they had played a small forward like Singler or even Martin at power forward.

This issue is most puzzling for me right now and concerns the play of Josh Smith. What is happening to this man in the 2nd half of games? He is going outside for a hit of something to make him mellow? It looks that way because he is not the same player in the 2nd half of games and this has been going on throughout the year. Yet Stan Van Gundy must not notice. Is Stan going outside with Josh at halftime to get something to relax? What is going on with this team is insane and it all starts with the coaching staff. The coach is allowing inexcusable action on the court by certain Piston players and is actually rewarding rewarding those players with more playing time. I know coach. You are keeping those players on the court because you want to trade them but you are making them look worse so the chances of making a trade will be less now. Thanks for that.

[deusXango]

Trade, trade, trade, whoever the f@ck he can (with the exception of Drummond, KCP, and Dinwiddie) and be reasonable with his expected returns; how is it that teams all across the league trade for first round picks, but we have some idiots who believe that Jennings and Smith can't get first round picks?

Stop leading fans to believe that dreaming about Meeks return is comparable to Kobe, Durant, Melo, or players of that ilk; we're talking F@ckin' Jodie Meeks, for heavens sake. If he's all that to us then no wonder our record is like it is.

Oracle, you brought up a great point; look at who SVG is relying on to get things done! Did anyone find themselves impressed with the Bower pre-game interview? Butler ain't a mentor, he's a major cog in the rotation....imagine that. The only reason I'm patient with Hardaway is because he may be able to facilitate Junior coming on board this summer. The rest of those clowns on the bench, sh!!!!!!!!t. Bring back Rasheed.

Let Monroe start the rest of the season and feature him in the offense, it may earn us some favor with his agent, because I know bridges have been burnt with that relationship; he may be able to steer one of his worthwhile clients to Detroit in the future.

Stop ignoring Datome; if he ain't the player advertised, let us all see it! We've seen Singler under-perform for the majority of this short season and Butler play too many minutes for the milage he has, so give us reason to cheer for this guy like Singler/Butler or revile him like Smith. No one discusses this guy, why?

I love the suggestion of starting Augustin and backing him up with Dinwiddie....how can we be worse?

[Oracle]

1. Sit Josh's ass and start Monroe with JJ as backup!

2. Sit Jennings ass and start Augustin backed up by Dinwiddie!

3. Sit Singler and start Martin! Why? We need more athleticism in the starting lineup!

4. Keep Drummond at center!

5. Make KCP the featured scorer... PERIOD! Run plays for him to score in the paint and midrange. Let Martin, Augustin & Dinwiddie jack up 3's!

6. Make Monroe the 2nd featured scorer!

Do this for 8-10 games and see if Josh & Jennings learn anything, if not screw them, they aren't worth playing anyway!

Tell this new crew that anybody caught not moving the ball will sit down, even if you have to raid the D-League for players, because they're going to be gone next year!

It's time to stop playing with these guys and give them some REAL motivation to play better!

Who cares if they win, just play right and we'll worry about the rest later!

[Oracle]

"Stan Van Gundy's pride got the best of him this summer. He truly believed -- against all odds -- that he was going to make Detroit's big three work. Van Gundy is respected throughout the league for his coaching skills, but this was a major mistake. According to Real GM, there was an offer on the table, but Van Gundy nixed it. There was a 1 out of 10 shot that Detroit was going to trade Monroe. Sadly for Detroit, Van Gundy should have made a trade."
-A Quote from RealGM

On top of everything else, there were two other teams who had signed off on a three-way trade that Van Gundy nixed!
Greg Monroe for an All-Star level player? What about Greg Monroe for nothing, at the end of his qualifying?

SVG really blew it as a GM & a coach!

I know Howard was a handful, but players that you groom from basically rookie status rarely turn on their mentor!

I'm beginning to believe that SVG may have been more at fault in that relationship than previously believed!

BTW, are you just loving the mentoring we're getting from Butler and the PG training we're getting from Hardaway!

Yup SVG in on a roll, unfortunately, the roll is located around his waist!

[Oracle]

They played well because it was the Thunder! They're getting motivation based on opponent, NOT from inside of themselves, and that's a problem.

Pride should be driving them at this point.

If this doesn't say it's the players I don't know what does.  This is what I've been talking about when I say it's the players and not the coaching. It's the intrinsic reward that should be driving these players.  Coaches can change the habits of players but they can't change what should have already been there before he ever encounter them (pride in winning)

When I look at our players I don't see disappointment on there faces, not kicking of chairs, knocking over the Gatorade, punching walls and cursing at each other.  Not one player on this team looks at the other players and say follow my lead and this is what we had with players on our championship team everyone in line and doing the right things and being accountable.  

Taking away PT is like giving kids timeouts and then cookies later.   BTW Josh didn't take a bad shot he just missed it but I think Brandon should have went for the shoot himself oppose to kicking it back to Josh.  Just know that had Josh made it you be sucking his drawers for at least a day  

You're correct, you don't know what it is!

It proves the EXACT opposite of what you believe it does.

It proves that MOTIVATION is needed, and they aren't getting it from the coaching... YIKES!!!

Man, I certainly don't want you figuring out how to make a team better

[deusXango]

"Stan Van Gundy's pride got the best of him this summer. He truly believed -- against all odds -- that he was going to make Detroit's big three work. Van Gundy is respected throughout the league for his coaching skills, but this was a major mistake. According to Real GM, there was an offer on the table, but Van Gundy nixed it. There was a 1 out of 10 shot that Detroit was going to trade Monroe. Sadly for Detroit, Van Gundy should have made a trade."
-A Quote from RealGM

On top of everything else, there were two other teams who had signed off on a three-way trade that Van Gundy nixed!
Greg Monroe for an All-Star level player? What about Greg Monroe for nothing, at the end of his qualifying?

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